confusion, that’s what I am.
I think I know what I am doing, when in reality I’m always winging it. My characteristics are being a planner and knowing my moves in advance but lately I have been completely surprising myself, to my demise? I still don’t know and I don’t know if I want to find out.
I had been enjoying my drama less life for soo long that all these new things coming to the forefront can be sometimes a little too much to handle and I find myself asking if its really all that worth it. It’s the go with the flow mentality that I have been telling myself that I want. I want to be spontaneous and frankly not give a damn but I struggle with it. I struggle with what I want, with what I am and with how I actually deal with it.
I probably don’t make much sense right now because it has been consuming my mind for some time and I am trying to figure out what to do, whether to end it, continue it or just forget it.
All I need is some clarity.
Filed under: life | Tags: goals, life, passion, photography, plans, relationships, work
as stevie wonder said… is really the kind of lover i need?
let’s reflect on this…………reflected enough? okay
so i have been busy and not so busy.. i think i keep myself busy so to not be alone so much… i work work and work… is it because nothing or no one is really getting my attention enough to stop?..maybe
about 5 months ago things were not as complicated as they are now… and sometimes i think it’s all been my doing…i was on track to do things, set things up and then.. i really really got distracted…i lagged out on things i told myself i would do and i was getting close to making things happen… and now its all pffff…. gone..
i feel like i have to start from the beginning and make up for lost time….this past weekend i hung out with my brother and we got quite buzzed and i think i told him things i probably would have not and same him to me… oh well…he said he couldnt remember much.
i met a photography lady this weekend while taking a class and it was really good to talk to someone that enjoys photography as well and it totally made me think how I should just do it too… its like what do i have to lose…nothing if anything i have so much more to gain and im not necessarily talking about money but just recognition from other photographers and someone to appreciate the work and find unique to them in the work that i would do…. thats why i want to photograph….
this upcoming week.. i should have some good opportunities to do just that. 
Filed under: life | Tags: george benson, give me the night, trabajo, work
currently listening: los amigos invisibles
hoy hacido un dia super bien. Estuve super produtiva en la oficina y mañana seguira siendo un dia super padrisimo!!!
estos ultimas semanas me la eh pasado super ocupada, y bien acompañada. espero poner las pilas y seguir logrando metas, ya sean de trabajo o personales.
I’m such a night owl its ridiculous…. like the great mr. benson
Whenever dark has fallen
you know the spirit of the party starts to come alive
Until the day is dawning you can throw out all your blues
and hit the city lights
‘Cause there’s music in the air
and lots of loving everywhere
so gimme the night, Gimme the night.
Filed under: life | Tags: friends, friendship, love, lust, ramblings, thought
these last few weeks have been so slow only because i think i knew this day was coming closer and closer. this past weekend was really fun and sad all boiled into one. we tried a few different types of beers cheeses, meats, etc… good stuff. i know this week will be trying for everyone, especially mom but I know its for the best.
on other news not that its that important but ive talked to friends and its interesting how all of our love lives and lack thereof are different and yet so much alike, some are far from those they want, some cant demonstrate their affection, some want more romance, some don’t know if they are in a relationship, some are just plain confused. I am sure I fall as do my friends into all of these ideas… i understand that the future is so uncertain but with all the uncertainty that i expect, i would like to know where i stand.
